NOTE: Something happened to this tribute today to where I had to go through to make changes to make it all show up as it once did. Because of the revisions, it now has a rather choppy look to it. My apologies for this...
This is a three-part story dedicated to my beautiful friend, Russell, who
turns 66 on May 14. The first part of it shares my personal feelings
for him and tells you a little bit about my background. The second part
of it tells just what makes Russell so special. The third part contains
news about several courageous people who are sharing their lives in
order to make a difference in the lives of others.
Although I believe that Part One is also important in the telling of this story
(at least, it's near and dear to my own heart), I know that it might
not be of interest to everyone reading this. If not, please scroll down
and begin with the last two parts, because they're the most important
parts of this story to read...
Part One
I have a hope chest--one passed from my mom to me--which I began
filling when I was in my late teens with the first contribution to it being a
small white Bible (a present given to me shortly after I was born by
Aunt Jenny, Uncle Dick, and their kids, Carolyn & Jimmy) and place
settings for four that I got from opening up a bank account with my
high school graduation money.
My plans, at that time, were to go
to college and, after graduation, teach for a year at one of our
country's remaining one (or two) room schoolhouses before teaching in a
special education classroom.
Along with that, I would be a
writer. Of course, I was already a writer, but I mean the kind of
writer who is read by countless people whom I haven't even met.
That
small white Bible revealed another one of my hopes--which was to carry
it, flower-covered, towards the church altar where my soulmate would be
awaiting me, and we'd be taking vows to spend the rest of our earthly
lives together.
In time, other items were added to my hope chest--among them some of my old baby clothes and at least one maternity top.
As the late John Lennon once sang, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
Emily
Perl Kingsley once wrote about her feelings of being blessed and
surprised by the arrival of a DS Angel named Jason. She had been
expecting a baby but just hadn't expected the baby to arrive with an
extra chromosome.
No matter how many times I've read Welcome To Holland I've never ceased to be touched by its beautiful message!
In other ways, I, too, was on my way to Italy and ended up in Holland instead.
Although
my dream of being a widely-read writer has remained intact and has
blossomed beyond my fondest dreams, I never became a teacher (in the
traditional sense, at least); the Bible was never carried by me on my
wedding day; and the maternity top(s) and baby clothes remain unworn.
There's a long story that I see no need to share here re: why I never became a teacher in the traditional sense.
The
short version of that story is that--while I had a heart for kids; was
effective when it came to both teaching them and relating to them; and
had everyone from parents to grandparents to other teachers telling me
that they would have felt good in knowing that I would be teaching
their kids/kids who were near and dear to them--I had managed to get on
the wrong side of those who did the deciding re: who would even get the
chance to make it far enough in the teacher education program to get a
degree in teaching.
This is why I graduated from college with my
major and minor areas switched--and I had fought city hall so
stubbornly that I'd almost ended up with a double-major. When I
graduated from college in 1976, I had a definite major in English,
almost a major in Elementary Education, and several classes under my
belt in Behavioral Sciences.
As I went through life, I found out
that my formal education in all of those areas would continue to serve
me well in a lot of ways, so I never considered this to be a waste of
time.
Not many years after that, I would make another brief stab at fighting city hall.
This
turned out to be another experience that, for many reasons, wasn't a
waste of time--the top reason for this being so was that it led me to
information that I was able to pass on to a friend who had dealt with
grand mal epilepsy from the time that she was four years old so that
she would end up having surgery that would open up a whole new world
for her! (Details here)
I
remember the day that I decided to give up fighting city hall when it
came to getting a degree in education. I had been sitting in an empty
classroom crying and coming to terms with the death of a dream that had
been a part of me since I was 12 or younger--a good 15 years! One of my
instructors came in, sat down with me, and reminded me of my talent as
a writer.
She told me that, as a teacher, I would be able to
teach 25 or 30 kids during a school year (and I told her that, as a
special education teacher, the number would be lower than that) but, as
a writer, I would be able to teach a world in a day!
Unless she
knew more than I did about how computers made available to common folks
would eventually make this a reality, she was merely taking some poetic
license in her description of my potential as a writer.
These
days, though--as I prepare a piece of writing and, with a few actions
taken on my keyboard send it anywhere and everywhere that Internet
access is a reality--I often remember her words and realize that I
have, indeed, become a teacher after all!
I've won my fight with city hall over and over again!!!
When it comes to weddings, I've served as a maid-of-honor three times.
With one of those times, the groom turned out to be totally-impossible!
He
was even coming on to me right before the ceremony--though I took it at
the time that his smiles and winks were just his way of saying "Thank
you!" for being a part of this important time in the life of him and
his bride-to-be. However, his attempts to start some kind of affair
with me became more and more obvious in the weeks after the
ceremony--even mere DAYS afterward.
With another one of those
times, I stood up with the couple in a wedding where the groom also
turned out to be carrying on with at least one other woman--but, a
little over a year later, I was maid-of-honor for the same friend who,
almost 30 years later, is still happily-married to the same wonderful
man!
So, the expression, "Always the bridesmaid--never the
bride!" is definitely the story of my life--this in spite of the fact
that I've totally lost count of how many bridal bouquets I've managed
to catch.
I came close a few times--was even engaged once--but,
in the end, I came to the realization that it just wasn't meant to be.
Sometimes, I was the one who understood this first. Other times, it was
the guy who pointed it out to me. Still other times, it was a
conclusion that we ended up reaching together almost at the same time.
When it comes to unrequited love, I've played the role of both the disappointer and the disappointee.
Although
he and I have been in and out of each others' lives since January of
1990, there has been one man over that period of time who (even with
the time divided up with other love interests in-between) comes out the
winner re: the length of time he has been in the number one spot when
it comes to my personal matters-of-the-heart.
This is the man to whom I refer to as Johnny Angel when I write about him.
I
believe to this day that we were meant to become extra-important to
each other, because I had been receiving signs of this even before we
knew that the other one existed--and I believe that we have a future
together.
However, it isn't a romantic future but, instead, one
of having a special connection to where said connection will play an
important part in our achieving what we've been called to achieve.
Seeing him will always continue to brighten my day--but it will brighten my day in a platonic way!
I
had already pretty much come to that conclusion long before a
turning-point that began taking place in my life this January 15.
The
main difference that was about to take place had to do with how I
viewed marriage and its relevance to me--and I had decided that I
wasn't even close to being ready to take such a step!
I had just
turned 54 years old, and I was now thinking along the lines of,
possibly, being ready to get married when I was 70 or 80. I was even
wondering if I might live to be 100 or so and, then, die peacefully in
my sleep with no ring on my finger and my virginity still intact.
Some
people go through life being married to nothing more than their calling
and/or career with no need of another person to "complete" them, and it
occurred to me that I just might turn out to be one of those
people--and that didn't make me unhappy.
When it came to romance, I would live it through the lives of others and my own memories and dreams.
As
for the baby and maternity clothes in my hope chest--where they still
remain as a tribute to my dreams--I've realized for a very long time
that being a godmother, second parent, and/or mentor to several kids
even back as far as when I was in the upper grades of elementary school
has helped me to taste the Mommy track time and again. Perhaps, a child
will never grow inside of me, but I've still, on some level at least,
experienced the beauty of parenting!
I was, in fact, expecting to experience such a moment (one of mentoring) on January 15 of this year.
It
happened at what had been meant to be a great idea for a discussion
site--a place where people started/participated in conversations of a
question and answer sort of format and got paid for doing so.
However,
a few greedy people were starting to tear the place apart. Not only
were they complaining on their own but they also had planted seeds of
doubt into the minds of others to where the young webmaster was now
getting raked over the coals and being called a cheat running a scam.
This was not true in the least!
In the midst of all of this, I
noticed an eager poster calling himself Rusty and asking people to come
and give him feedback on a site that he'd designed.
Knowing that
the climate of the site had a ribbon of hostility running through it at
that particular time, I could imagine some of those hecklers really
having a hey-day with this Rusty person--someone whom I imagined was
either in his early twenties or else still in his teens.
I was
imagining a site that contained some links (fixed up as referral links)
to different moneymaking sites along with one or more promotional
movies/slide shows of such sites. There might even be some links to
jokes, the weather, trivia, games, etc.
And I imagined finding
at least some feedback there that went along the lines of "Quit spewing
your spam (insert very nasty name)!"
This eager kid deserved better than that, so I decided to take him under my wing and provide helpful and encouraging feedback.
Imagine
my surprise when I visited the site and found an amazing amount of both
text and videos that dealt with some of the same issues that were near
and dear to my heart!
I also found no signs of flaming going on
there. Instead, I found lots of positive response from a number of
fellow visitors to Rusty's website.
The architect of this site
wasn't a young person but, instead, a senior citizen--and one with a
very interesting and unique background!
He had made mistakes in
his life--and this wasn't surprising, considering the hand that he had
been dealt before he was even old enough to shave--but was now very
successful at being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
I
was so thrilled to find this treasure trove that I wrote this Rusty guy
some very positive feedback and told him that I hope we'd keep in touch
because we were on the same page.
He wrote me back (using the on site private message system) and gave me one of his main e-mail addresses.
At
some point in our correspondence, it began to occur to me that I was
writing to a single man who was a little over a decade my senior, so I
thought it was only fair to let him know early on that I wasn't sending
him a pick-up line--that I was seriously interested in getting to know
him but in a platonic way only.
He wrote back and told me that he knew that I wasn't trying to pick him up.
Good!
It
was nice to clear the air there, because I didn't want to mislead him
and (in case he were entertaining different thoughts about the
direction in which this relationship was going than I was) disappoint
him. This was a man who had already experienced more than his share of
disappointments, and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt him
unnecessarily.
Early on, I had invited him to a product review
site of which I was a member--and was very pleasantly surprised one
evening to find that he had turned me into a product and had written a
glowing five-star review about me! I had never had such a thing happen
before!
By then, we had already talked on the phone at least
once or twice--but, still, just as friends who were out to shake things
up and rattle a few cages.
I left a comment telling him how much I'd appreciated this--and he responded that I deserved every bit of it and so much more.
I
called my mom and told her what had just happened, and she was really
touched as well. I asked her if she would like to tell him herself how
much this meant to her as well, and she said that she would, so I got a
three-way telephone conversation going, and we all had a wonderful talk.
One
thing that I have is a flat-rate phone package when it comes to calling
people in the United States. This comes in very handy for me in so many
ways, and it enables me to also connect two other people into three-way
conversations.
Although Russell and I have now set, with few
exceptions, certain times for talking on the phone (as we can
accomplish most things using e-mail), we've had the great experience of
being able to talk back and forth at length without having to worry
about mounting long-distance costs. We've also used the three-way to be
able to both be on the line while talking to mutual friends.
We
definitely had good chemistry between us--including the realization
that each of us was crushing on the other at least a little--but it
still wasn't with romantic intentions when it suddenly occurred to me
that there was something that I really wanted to do in celebration of
our wonderful friendship. Not consciously, anyway.
Inspired by a piece of writing
that another friend had written several years ago, I asked Russell how
he would feel about being my cyber-husband. I explained to him (in an
essay I'd written) that this wasn't the same thing as being married in
real life but was only a special way of celebrating what a dynamic duo
we had become.
I told him that this song had been playing in my head whenever I thought about our wonderful friendship.
I
knew that I was taking a risk of scaring him so badly that he wouldn't
want to have another thing to do with me and would come to see me as
some kind of cyber-stalker. Somehow, though, I felt that our friendship
was stronger than that and that the worst he could do was to tell me
that he appreciated the gesture but just wasn't comfortable with it.
What
a wonderful surprise awaited me when I got an e-mail with an
attachment--and the attachment turned out to be a cyber-marriage
certificate that he had created for us! It wasn't anything really
elaborate--just something to make it "official" that, as of February
19, 2007, we were cyber-married!
Even after we were
cyber-married, I would have said, "No way!" had I been asked if there
were any chance that Russell and I might end up being married "for
real" sometime in the future.
Sure! There's a chance that
anything might happen, I suppose. If George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton
end up surviving their spouses, I suppose that there would be a chance
that they would fall in love with each other and get married.
However--while
a real-life marriage between Russell and me might be more likely to
happen than that--I still was under the impression back then that
chances of this happening would still fall under the "slim to none"
description.
Now, I'm not so sure about that--in fact, these days, I'm under the impression that the odds are *considerably* better than 50/50 of this becoming a wonderful reality!!!
No
matter what, Russell and I are definitely meant to be together as
friends who are out to make this world a better place. No matter what,
this part of our special story isn't going to change except to get
better and better!!!
Part Two
There's an old song called Why Do Fools Fall In Love?
Am I a fool?
Some people would say I was, and others would say that I'm actually a very wise woman.
Living
with myself 24/7, I can accurately say that there are times when I'm
actually a very wise woman, times when I'm a total fool, and--for the
most part--those in-between times.
But I can tell you this much:
Becoming
friends with Russell is nothing less than very wise--and, though I act
a little (OK! A LOT!) goofy and giddy at times over him, I think that
falling head over heels in love with him is also a very wise (albeit
involuntary) decision.
Even though the decision to fall in love
with him might be involuntary, there are certain things that are left
up to me when it comes to how I handle these wonderful emotions.
Do I keep it to myself? or Do I shout it from the mountain top?
I've, obviously, done a better job of doing the latter!
When
you learn more about what Russell Thomas Hartsaw is all about, I
believe that you'll be better able to understand why I love this man so
much!
Let's begin with the website that began it all back on January 15, 2007.
It
has had revisions made on it since that time, obviously--for one thing,
I've become part of it!--but the general idea of it is still the same.
Russell Online
is a very special website that is set up to strongly encourage those
visiting there to take a closer look at what is going on in the world
these days. Although Russell and I are, overall, on the same page, I
wouldn't call myself a dittohead by any stretch of the imagination.
For example...
Although
we both agree that President Bush has certainly made some very wrong
moves when it comes to our current situation in Iraq, as it has been
looking like a Vietnam deja vu for quite some time, I tend to cut our
President considerably more slack than Russell does.
Although I
do show my claws when necessary, and Russell can actually be a
marshmallow at times (more times than he even seems to realize), it's
pretty much a given that I'm the softer side of this dynamic duo.
He calls me a creampuff and a softie. This is an excerpt from an e-mail that he sent to me on Mothers Day:
"Give
your Mother a Mother's Day kiss for me, and have her give you one for
me. Tell her that she raised a very special daughter. Even if she is a
big softie. 
"
When I told my mom what he'd written, she told me that she agreed with his take on me 100%.
I have a companion website called AJ Online that is (as of this date) in the early stages of construction. It represents this softer side of "us."
I've created a special spot at Writing.com called Welcome To Our World!
This spot is the place to go to find lots of stuff (even photos!) in
re: Russell, Rascal (his special guardian angel stuffed dog), me, and
various kinds of things that go along with our mission. By clicking on
the briefcase icon bearing his name that you'll find here and there,
you will also be able to find and read his WDC portfolio.
The project closest to his heart is Invisible Youth,
which is an organization he founded with the welfare of young people
who are homeless, abused, and otherwise "at-risk" in mind. I would
strongly urge you to check out this site and, hopefully, decide to
become one of our virtual volunteers.
I'm involved in several areas of our organization, including managing our online store.
One
enthusiastic person--a neighbor of Russell's--who is definitely on our
side and eager to help is a delightfully-unique guy by name of Frank J.
Rakovic who is best known by the handle of Professor Cool. Russell has
designed a wonderful website for him, and I'd like to invite you to go there and check it out in order to find out just how nice, amazing, and multi-talented this 63 years young man really is!
One
more thing before going on to the final part of this tribute, a
beautiful, talented woman named Dana who often goes by the handle of
Dragon Blue has designed a special birthday greeting for Russell.
If
my words have convinced you that Russell Thomas Hartsaw is "all
that"--or, at least, comes pretty darn close to being so!--I hope that
you will participate in this party by leaving a message in the
guestbook.
Click here to go there!!!
Here's something to be keeping in mind...
Russell has decided to make October Youth Outreach Month.
What he hopes is that communities will choose at least one day--which
day exactly will be up to each community--to place an extra-special
emphasis on giving those young people who need it a better way to go.
There
are a number of ways that this can be done from festivals to marathons
to concerts to bake sales to car washes to whatever else will achieve
this purpose.
One more thing, Russell is available to speak
and/or conduct classes/workshops at venues such as churches, colleges,
high schools, libraries, clubs, conventions, dinners, etc.
If he's going any great distance, he will need travel expenses (by train), food, and lodging taken care of.
Although donations are always welcome--and very much needed and appreciated--he does his presentations for free.
Part Three
Finally, I would like to close with a link
that will give you information about four very special people who
deserve to be heard. After you have read what they've written, I hope
that you will share some encouraging words with them. Thanks for taking the time to read this tribute to Russell and for what he stands! Now
go out there and have a very happy Russell T. Hartsaw Day--and be sure
to share this tribute with others! It will still be available for
reading even after Russell's 66th Birthday is history!
Labels: birthday, church, club, convention, dinner, Hartsaw, organization, Russell T. Hartsaw, school, youth
